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Take a trip thru the Seventies. The age of swingers, ban the bomb, burn the bra and some great music. This is the age the 'Superstar' was born. The show takes us thru the events that made the seventies so memorable and introduces us to some great impersonations and tributes. Skyhooks / Elvis / Freddie Mercury / Johnny Rivers / Elton John / Kiki Dee / Joni Mitchell / Bob Dylan / Cat Stevens / John Lennon / Peter Garret Billy Thorpe / Bette Midler / Carly Simon / CSNY / Cher and Sonny / Bee Gees / Bonnet M / JC Superstar / Tommy.

It's the height of the 'cold war' and KGB Secret Agent man Yuri Gambalalotski is sent to spy on the decadent west. Determined to undermine the decadent westerners Yuri gets involved in the local culture of 'pop' music. Yuri leads a double life while becoming the leading party animal. Deep cover KGB Agent Olga Nymphomanski, Russia’s secret ‘Fembot’ is set to infiltrate Rolling Stone magazine. Together they intend to poison us with subliminal secret anti-western slogans and messages recorded into pop songs. They don't realise that we're already worse than they want to make us so the plan can't possibly succeed.

There's Secret Agent Spies, despots, Fembots, sexpots, impersonations and a whole lot of fun including all the news of the seventies as it happened. So climb aboard the Jukebox to Siberia and join the Superstars as they relive life in the seventies. "Better than it actually was"! If you were around in the seventies you'll love it, if you weren't around you'll still know the music, it's still on the radio. Experience the seventies again or for the first time. Either way it's a blast from the past you won't forget in a hurry so ... ... make love not war, burn the bra, ban the bomb, throw your keys on the table and let's paaaarty!

NARRATOR: 1969 July 20 - Project Apollo: the Eagle lands on lunar surface. World watches in awe as Neil Armstrong takes historic first steps on moon. “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind!”

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: 1970. January Mick Jagger was fined £200 for possession of cannabis. April 1 Paul McCartney announces that the Beatles have disbanded and it’s no April fools joke. September Elvis Presley begins his first concert tour since 1958. September 18 Jimi Hendrix dies of a barbiturate overdose in London. October 4 Janis Joplin of a heroin overdose in Los Angeles. December 25 Cuba’s President Fidel Castro celebrates Christmas by smoking a Cuban, reportedly the leader of the opposition. Fidel liked it so much he smoked several dissidents from his own party for New Year.

STORY TELLER: 1969 and Balmain win the Footy. 1970 It’s the height of the Cold War and Russia looks on as ‘pop culture’ dominates the west. Russia sends an Ambassador to Australia to experience first hand this decadence, which the Kremlin is convinced will be the wests downfall thereby leaving the door open for the ‘Russianisation’ of the world. Enter KGB Secret Agent 69 Russian Cultural Ambassador Yuri Gambalalotski.

STORY TELLER: Yuri is here to evaluate our ‘Pop’ music culture. He intends to subjugate certain pop stars to his way of thinking. He’s already infiltrated their ‘Fan clubs’ and knows intimate details about them. In fact if you listen closely to his performances tonight you will notice a subtle ‘subliminal’ message in his songs. You actually need to listen to the songs backwards before you get the true message. He’s already done it to Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and look what it did to Ozy Osbourne! But hey it’s a work in progress! We live in the age of treason where big brother truly is watching! … George Orwell’s ‘1984’ in living colour! Here’s Yuri’s.

Said we’re travelling the Siberian railway
I’ve got you a ticket and it only goes one way

Orchestral arrangements
with the government brand
Played by marching bands across the land

You have so much money
Sex drugs and rock n roll.
Russia has none with the KBG in control

You won’t miss one
You won’t even miss two
Common pop stars mean nothing to you
Said we’re travelling the Siberian way …Yeh
Said we’re travelling the Siberian way …Yeh
Said we’re travelling the Siberian Ra…ilway

STORY TELLER: Defect to the west? Oh that’s ‘Defect to Russia’ backwards. Clever! The seventies is the age of Swingers, burn the bra, keys on the table, ban the bomb and Iron Curtain defectors by the score. KGB Agent Yuri is soon to meet the Australian Ambassador for ‘Culture, the arts, thong slapping and parking meters’. ASIO Secret Agent 76 and fledgling rock star Midnight Oil’s Peter Garrett. While in Uni Garrett was ‘brainwashed’ and is now a ‘Commy sleeper agent’ to be awoken in the future and used as a ‘Political Prawn’. Err …Pawn … sorry Peter.

STORY TELLER: So on ARMISTICE DAY he didn’t want to BE THE ONE in the FORGOTTEN YEARS. POWER and the PASSION when the GENERALS TALK by the BLUE SKY MINE back on the BORDERLINE near GUNBARREL HIGHWAY when the RIVER RUNS RED.

PETER GARRET: (As he’s leaving the stage) I heard Yuri’s message and all I got to say to you is “Beds are Burning Yuri, Beds are Burnin’. You have a short memory Mustafa!

STORY TELLER: Yuri has been working on putting more subliminal messages into songs thinking they’ll never notice. Like in Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. Freddie said “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me”, Yuri changed it to “BLZ Boobs has a doctorate in philosophy!” and for ‘Another one bites the dust” changed to ‘Another one bites my butt”. Then there’s the classic “Bismillah” He changed to “Bette Midler” And “Bohemian Rhapsody” became Bohemian Rap City! In Boney M’s “Ra Ra Rasputin lover of the Russian Queen” became “Ha ha last one ins a lover of the Russian Queen”. But you can hear that one for yourself. First though here’s a piece of trivia for you. The mad monk Rasputin, known as the best lover in the land, had his rather overworked dill, pickled and put in a jar. It is today on display in the Russian museum of fine Arts. Believe it or believe it not.

Alternate chorus:
Ha ha last one in’s a lover of the Russian Queen
It was so sad ‘cause he only had one

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: Manly Warringah win the footy two years in a row 1972 and 73. 1973 January 14 Elvis Presley does a concert in Hawaii for over a billion people on TV live worldwide. January 15 U.S. President Richard Nixon announces the suspension of offensive action in North Vietnam. January 22 George Foreman defeats Joe Frazier for the heavyweight world boxing championship. April 4 The World Trade Centre officially opens in New York. July 20 France resumes nuclear bomb tests in Mururoa Atoll, over the protests of Australia and New Zealand. July 20 Chinese actor Bruce Lee dies of brain swelling in Hong Kong. October 20 The Sydney Opera House is opened by Queen Elizabeth II. There is controversy as to where the additional funds urgently needed to complete the building in time came from. December 2 the title Queen of Australia is created. December 20 American singer Bobby Darin dies. September 20 - American songwriter
Jim Croce dies and Yuri commemorated that with his own version of this Jim Croce classic!

BAD BAD LEROY (SERGEI) BROWN
A Parody

Well the south side of Moscow
Is the baddest part of town
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a man named Sergei Brown

Now Sergei more than trouble
You see he stand bout six foot four
All the downtown ladies call him treetop lover
All the men just call him sir…gei

CHORUS:
And he’s bad, bad Sergei Brown
The baddest man in the whole damn town
Badder than Lenin or Trotsky
And meaner than the KGB

Now Sergei he a gambler
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to wave his diamond rings
Under everybody’s nose
He got a custom continental
He got an Eldorado too
He got a 32 gun in his pocket for fun
He got a razor in his shoe

Well Friday about a week ago
Sergei shootin’ pool

STORY TELLER: Yuri did his Spy training at a secret base in the Urals. His partner was Secret Agent 68 Olga Nimphomanski. Whose most recent assignment has been to clandestinely keep an eye on Yuri. To ‘blend in’, as part of her cover, Olga took a job as a roving journalist for Rolling Stone Magazine, only to find she was amongst a group of anarchists, leftists and Socialists, so she fit right in. Olga a secret admirer of Yuri from afar has collected enough information and is now ready to make her move. Yuri tonight’s the night! Enter Secret Agent Olga Natasha Nimphomanski.

You walked into the party room
Like you were Director of KGB
Your gun strategically dipped below your coat
But your thoughts where all over me
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself report
And all us girls dreamed that we’d be your partner
your KGB partner, and

Chorus
You're so vain
You prob’ly think the KGB loves you
You're so vain
I bet you think they can’t do without you
Don't you? Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that I had such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And joined the KGB
I had some schemes to put drugs in your coffee

Well, I hear you went up to St Petersburg
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and … etc

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: South Sydney win the footy two years in a row 1971 and 72.1971 January 5 The 1st ever ‘One day international’ cricket match is played between Australia & England at the M.C.G. January 7 King of TV Graham Kennedy does ‘Dons Party’. February 15 Decimalisation Day: - The UK and Ireland both switch to decimal currency. July 3 Doors singer Jim Morrison is found dead in his Paris, France apartment. August 18 Australia and New Zealand decide to withdraw their troops from Vietnam. July 16 The four billionth baby is born.

STORY TELLER: Led Zeppelin releases their untitled fourth album. The album contains what will become the most requested rock song of all time, "Stairway to Heaven". A song that inspires Yuri who comes up with a plot to kidnap ELVIS. The KGB put out the cover story that Elvis is dead and that ‘Stairway to Heaven’ predicted his death. Anyone would believe anything in those days. In truth of course as we all now know, Elvis wasn’t dead he’d only left the building to go and live undercover in Moscow with the assumed identity of Boris Yeltsin, who would later become the Russian President. So I think we got one back on them! But let us now remember Elvis the king at his best.

ELVIS: (As he’s leaving the stage) I heard Yuri’s message and all I got to say to you is “Return to Sender Honey! Return to sender! Cause I don’t have a Wooden Heart!”

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: 1972 January 30 Sunday Bloody Sunday: - 13 civil rights marchers are shot in Northern Ireland. September 5 and 6 Eleven Israeli athletes at the Summer Olympics in Munich are murdered after members of the terrorist group Black September invade the Olympic Village. December The Aboriginal Tent embassy is found on the lawn of Old Parliament House in Canberra er founded. December 2 Edward Gough Whitlam becomes the first Labor Party Prime Minister of Australia for 23 years. His first action using executive power is to withdraw all Australian personnel from the Vietnam War. March 4 In a feat unmatched before or since, The Bee Gees claim 5 spots as songwriters in the Billboard Hot 100.

STORY TELLER: Living in the Seventies also focused on everything sporty and up-to-date. It was the era of nouveau cuisine, when prawn cocktails, fondue and carpetbag steak were the 'plat du jour' of fine dining. For women ‘Charlie’ was the most popular scent around, ‘English Leather’ for men. It’s the looming age of the corporate body, Globalisation and multi nationals and Yuri wants his slice of the action. He has secretly invested funds into an entertainment management company and has successfully infiltrated the movie business. From Brisbane to Budapest from Lamingtons to Beluga caviar from Beatles to Bee Gees.

BARRY GIBB: (As he’s leaving the stage) I heard Yuri’s message and all I got to say to you is “I started a joke and now you’re jive talking me. I’m just stayin alive Yuri!”

STORY TELLER: Yuri, wanting to try everything new, soon became Maharishi Rusky and introduced us to ‘the inner self’ philosophy or ‘how to get in touch with the child inside’. He liked the concept of men getting in touch with their feminine side, thinking this will weaken the ‘war like’ nature of the west. He hasn’t yet met Maggie Thatcher or Hillary Clinton! He sees ‘Music Festivals’ as the social events that will further promote civil unrest as so many young people get together and ‘drop out’ of normal society. He held many ‘happenings’ and ‘love-ins’ and created the slogans ‘Make Love Not War’ and “Love the one you’re with’. In truth most people I know think Yuri was just plain crazy.

Billy Thorpe

Most people I know think that I'm crazy and
I know at times I act a little hazy but
if that’s my way
and you should know it then
in every way help me to show it
oooooooo yeah, yeah, yeah

For most of my life I lived a delusion yes
material gain has caused me confusion but
slowly in time I learned that my place is
to tell all that I meet the glory of RUSSIA
oooooooo yeah, yeah
and that’s why

When you’re down and confused
And you don't remember who your talking to
Your concentration slips away
Because KGB made it go that way

And there's a Rose in a fisted Glove

And Anarchy needs a shove
And if you can't be get’n it on the side
honey get a Russian bride

Don't be angry. Don't be sad
Don't sit cryin' for good girls gone bad
There's a Ukrain girl right next to you
Just send her an email, she’ll be coming to you

Turn your heartache into joy
phone one nine hundred to be a bad boy
Get it together and call tonight,
You ain't gonna need no more advice

I did I did I did I did etc Yes I did Yes I did!
_________________________________

STORY TELLER: All this time in the west has given Yuri’s other half, Olga, certain modern feminist ideas. She hasn’t caught the free love, make love not war thing. As far as she’s concerned Yuri is her man and her man alone. So along with ‘The Female Eunuch’ Germaine Greer ‘and “I am woman’ Helen Reddy, Olga has infiltrated the feminist movement of the seventies. She will no longer be subservient to any man. Having learned the sensual arts of being a ‘Fembot’ in chapter 3 of the KGB spy training manual, though I think it may have been from page 69 of the Karma Sutra, Olga is going to give it to Yuri. And he’d better learn quickly because she’s not going to be anyone’s beast of burden.

Now write this down!
I'll never be your beast of burden.
My back is broad, but it's a' hurtin'.
All I want is for you to make love to me.
I'll never be your beast of burden.
I walk for miles, my feet are hurtin'.
All I want is for you to make love to me.

chorus:

What's the matter with me?
Ain't I hot enough? Ain't I rough enough?
Ain't I rich enough? I'm not too blind to see. Ohh, ohhh.

I'll never be your beast of burden.
So let's go home and draw the curtains.
Put some music on the radio.
C'mon, baby, make some love to me.

I'll never be your beast of burden.
My back is broad, baby, but it's a' hurtin'.
And all I want is you to make love to me.
I'll never be your beast of burden.
I walk for miles, honey, my feet are hurtin'.
And all I want is for you to make love to me.

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: Eastern Suburbs win the footy two years in a row 1974 and 75. 1974 January 27 Brisbane is flooded. March 8 The Brady Bunch is cancelled after 5 seasons. June 16 The first Darwin beer-can regatta is held. August 9 Richard Nixon becomes the first President of the United States to resign from office, an action taken to avoid being removed by impeachment in response to his role in the Watergate scandal. September 8 New U.S. President Gerald Ford pardons former President Richard Nixon for any crimes Nixon may have committed while in office. October 30 The "Rumble in the Jungle" between Muhammad Ali and George Foreman takes place in Zaire. Using his new "rope-a-dope" strategy, Ali knocks out an exhausted Foreman after 8 rounds, regaining the Heavyweight Boxing Title. December 24 and 25 Darwin is almost completely destroyed by Cyclone Tracy. December World population reached 4 billion people.

STORY TELLER: The Kremlin believe that Yuri and Olga are doing a great job for their country when news headlines tell of an American President being impeached at Watergate, a self confessed pacifist and conscientious objector becomes the world heavyweight boxing champion and a new stage show is released that flaunts a slanderous look at religion through sex drugs and rock n roll. Yuri and Olga are truly in heaven.

Pontius Pilate: Who is this broken man cluttering up my hallway? Who is this unfortunate?
Soldier: Someone Christ, King of the Jews.

December 30 - Tiger Woods, American golfer

NARRATOR CONT: And now for the news of the day: St George win the footy. 1977 February 4 Fleetwood Mac's Grammy-winning album Rumours is released. .April 8 Punk band The Clash's debut album is released in the UK. May 25 Star Wars opens in cinemas. June 25 American Roy Sullivan is struck by lightning for the 7th time. Only in America! August 16 Elvis Presley dies. Long live the King! October 28 Never Mind the Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols is released.

STORY TELLER: Who was the biggest pop superstar of the early '70s? Whose versatility combined with effortless melodic skills, dynamic charisma and flamboyant stage shows made him the most popular recording artist of the time. In 1976 he revealed in an interview in Rolling Stone Magazine that he was bisexual; he would later admit that the confession was a compromise, since he was afraid to reveal that he was homosexual. He married girlfriend Renate Blauel in a lovely ceremony in Sydney but was later heard to say “Saturday nights we’re always fighting till Daniel’s love came like a candle in the wind”. Truth be known they were only crocodile tears.

ELTON: (As he’s leaving the stage) I heard Yuri’s message and all I got to say to you is “It’s your song Nikita so don’t shoot me I’m only the piano player”

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: Manly Warringah win the footy.1978 January 23 Sweden becomes the first nation to ban arsehole sprays that are thought to damage earth's ozone layer, Aerosol. February 11 The People's Republic of China lift a 100 year old ban on works by Aristotle, Shakespeare and Charles Dickens. Never a best seller Dickens ‘’The Pickwick Papers’ instantly became number one when the authors name was changed to MAO and released as a companion piece with the little red book. No place for Copyright in China! March 24 The oil tanker Amoco Cadiz splits in two spilling 50,000 metric tons of crude oil into the Ocean. April 1 Dick Smith tows a fake iceberg into Sydney Harbour. September 7 Keith Moon, drummer with The Who dies from a drug overdose. September 22 - Harry Kewell, Australian footballer was born. October 6 Johnny O'Keefe dies leaving us nothing to shout about!

September 1975 American chess player Bobby Fischer famously defeats Russian Champion Boris Spassky in ‘The Match of the Century”. A chess match at Reykjavík, Iceland. Fischer becomes the first American chess champion and receives fame and glory throughout the world. Spassky’s reign as world champion only lasted three years until this defeat. At the height of the Cold war this chess match was seen as a political confrontation between the two super powers, USA and the USSR. Spassky’s loss was honoured by the Russian Government with a life long professorship at the University of Siberia with permanent accommodations at the KGB International.

Know what’s best for you and for me
So listen up Boris
You’ll never be free
from the KGB

Because Khrushchev just doesn’t give a hoot
___________________________________________________

YURI: Defect to the west!

NARRATOR V/O: And now for the news of the day: 1975 March 1 Colour television transmissions begin in Australia. October 1 Thrilla in Manila: Muhammad Ali defeats Joe Frazier in a boxing match in Manila. November 11 Governor-General of Australia Sir John Kerr dismisses the government of Gough Whitlam and commissions Malcolm Fraser as Prime Minister or “Kerrs Cur”! November 12 Mikhail Baryshnikov defected from the Soviet Union in search for artistic and personal freedom. November 21 Queen releases the album A Night at the Opera, including their hit single "Bohemian Rhapsody." December South Australia becomes the first Australian state to decriminalize homosexual acts between consenting adults after hearing the extended version of ‘Bohemian rhapsody’ for the first time.

Freddie Mercury impersonation
I WANT TO BREAK FREE / CRAZY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE

FREDDIE: (As he’s leaving the stage) I heard Yuri’s message and all I got to say to you is Bohemian Rap City … Bette Midler!

NARRATOR: And now for the news of today: Many Warringah win the footy. 1976 April 21 The Great Bookie Robbery in Melbourne: Bandits steal $1.4 million. April 23 The Ramones release their first self-titled album. May 1 ‘Nifty’ Neville Wran becomes NSW Premier. July 4 Israeli commandos free 103 hostages being held by Palestinian hijackers at Uganda's Entebbe Airport. July 17 The Summer Olympics begin in Montreal Canada. Nadia Comaneci earns seven perfect "10.00" as well as three gold, one silver and one bronz…ed Aussie swimmer. I just added that bit myself!

STORY TELLER: June 24 1978 The first Gay & Lesbian Solidarity March is held in Sydney which will become known as the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. One of Yuri’s better ideas. Yuri also believed that integrating KGB sleeper spies into marriage with US pop singers would strengthen his cause and many famous couples were brought together by Yuri. John and Yoko Onoinskykoff, Tinny Timanoski and Miss Piggy, Sid Vicious and TV’s talking horse Mister Ed, who was really KGB deep cover Agent Edward Horsky and TV’s Gomer Hemeroidsky Pyle with movie star Rock Hudson. It was going so well that Yuri tried to put Olga deep undercover to impersonate an Indian American singer who was about to marry a future Florida Senator and potential President.
But Olga was never sure where she stood with Congressman Bono.

Does he love me I want to know
How can I tell if he loves me so
(Is it in his eyes)
Oh no, you'll be deceived
(Is it in his eyes)
Oh no he'll make believe
If you wanna know if he love you so, it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)

Is it in his face
Oh no, that's just his charm
In his warm embrace
Oh no, that's just his arms
If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss

Oh, Oh, Oh, hug him
Squeeze him tight
To find out what you want to know
If it's love, if it really is, it's there in his kiss

oh, oh, it's in his kiss
How 'bout the way acts
Oh no, that's not the way
You're not listening to all I say

If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)
Oh , oh, it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)

Oh, Oh, Oh, hug him
Squeeze him tight
To find out what you want to know
If it's love, if it really is, it's there in his kiss

(How 'bout the way he acts)
Oh no, that's not the way
You're not listenin' to all I say
If you wanna know if he loves you so it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)
Oh, Oh, it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)
Oh yeah, it's in his kiss
(That's where it is)
Ooh, it's in his kiss
That's where it is
It's in his kiss
_______________________________

OLGA as CHER: (As she’s leaving the stage) I know Yuri’s message and all Cher’s got to say is
“Tell it to Brittany, Hilton, Nicole and Lindsey! They all need a change of scene!”

STORY TELLER: It’s the age of the singer songwriter and Yuri and Olga begin to find their inner selves through the works of some of the greats. Imagine if you can Bob Dylan Knockin’ on Heavens door and Joni Mitchell catching a Big yellow taxi. Steven Demetre Georgiou became Cat Stevens, then in 78 changed to Yusuf Islam because it was such a Wild World. Yuri truly loves John Lennon as he mistakenly thinks that Lennon is actually ‘Lenin’ after hearing the words to ‘Working Class hero’ a song he thought was all about the Russian struggle of the suppressed working classes. You know he could be right!

As soon as your born they make you feel small,
By giving you no time instead of it all,
Till the pain is so big you feel nothing at all,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so bloody crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.

When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.

There's room at the top they are telling you still,
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,
If you want to be like the folks on the hill,
A working class hero is something to be.
A working class hero is something to be.
If you want to be a hero well just follow me
If you want to be a hero well just follow me

I don’t like their uniform
It’s too dark and doesn’t suit me
Feel like I’m knockin’ on heavens door

Cat Stevens

Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin': But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Baby, I love you: But if you wanna leave, take good care
I hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

NARRATOR: And now for the news of the day: St George win the footy. 1979 February 2 – Sex Pistols Sid Vicious, dies from a drug overdose. February 28 - American talking horse Mr. Ed dies. He was overhead saying he missed Sid Vicious too much to go on alone! April 25 Bart Simpson's official birthday. May 2 John Wayne is dead and the cowboy movie dies with him. May 4 Margaret Thatcher becomes the new prime minister of UK. ‘Rule Britannia” Hits the number one spot with several bullets! July 8 Los Angeles passes its homosexual rights bill. July 9 Saddam Hussein leaves LA to become President of Iraq. It is rumoured Saddam’s sex change operation went horribly wrong. October 9 Peter Brock wins the Bathurst 1000 by a record 6 laps, with a lap record on the last lap. December China becomes the first nation in the world to register 1 billion people in its population.

STORY TELLER: Russians have always loved their classical music. From Korsakov to Peter Ilich Tchaikovsky and Yuri was no exception, though his favourite musical was written by an Englishman about a blind kid who played pinball. It had the pathos and the drama of Glinka’s Operas and the dynamics of the ‘Mighty Five’ Balakirev, Borodin, Cui, Mussorgsky, and Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. Tommy was almost the Russian story of the Romanov Family with Tommy being the haemophiliac Tsarevitch Alexei and the Mad Monk Rasputin the ‘Acid Queen’!

NARRATOR: And now for the final news of the day: Canterbury Bankstown win the footy. 1980 February 19 AC/DC singer Bon Scott dies of Acute Alcohol Poisoning in London. It’s a long way to the top when you want a sausage roll. April 18 Zimbabwe gains independence from the United Kingdom; Robert Mugabe becomes Prime Minister. July 19-August 3 The Summer Olympics are held in Moscow. August 17 Baby Azaria Chamberlain disappears from a campsite at Ayers Rock reportedly taken by a dingo. September 25 drummer from Led Zeppelin John Bonham dies, November Victoria decriminalizes homosexual acts between consenting adults. November 24 Ronald Reagan becomes US President. December 8 John Lennon dies after being shot outside his New York City apartment by a deranged fan. And that sets the tone for living in the eighties.

YURI: The Cold War is won! Or is it lost? Who cares! It just disappears! I defect to Australia marry my Olga and we live happily ever after at an undisclosed property in Woomera and as far as we are all concerned we all just want to go back … waaaay back …

ENCORE

NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK
a ditty to be used at clubs and pubs only

Nudge nudge wink wink say no more

You know what I mean

The KGB and the CIA
Are always in between

She was only the Russian princess

Much richer than the rest

She was only the Russian princess

Her real treasures in her chest

He was the Russian put shot champion

At bowling he was boss

He was the Russian put shot champion

And his balls he loved to toss

The Russian cold war agent

Took his gun to bed, I swear!

The Russian cold war agent

Would shoot in his underwear

She was a prima ballerina

A diva of delight

She was a prima ballerina

Who loved to do the splits all night

Khrushchev Lenin Marx all knew

Their destiny their fate

Khrushchev Lenin Marx all knew

How to mass debate!

Mother Russia’s now in morning

For the days of long ago

* When the Russian bear could really scare
* When cold war spies were the toughest guys

* When KGB and the CIA always had too much to say

Mother Russia’s now in morning

For the old days long ago

Seems the whole damn world today is gay

Since the cold war blew awa ay ay away ay ay!

Glasnost!

Dostravonya!

This show in it's entirety is the sole copyright of John Brownrigg (c) 2007

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